I’m sure many of you are in the same boat as me – you’re married, and your husband keeps putting off having a baby.
It seems like every time we bring it up, he comes up with some other excuse why now isn’t the right time. But is it really ever going to be the right time?
I’m starting to think that maybe my husband just isn’t ready for fatherhood. And that’s okay because I’m ready. Ready to be a mommy, ready to have my own little family.
It’s just frustrating that my husband can’t seem to commit to anything.
If this is you… then I have identified some reasons why your husband keeps putting off having a baby! Here they are.
Reasons why your husband is putting off having a baby
1. He might feel like he’s not ready
Some men feel like they need to be more financially stable before they have a child. They might also feel like they’re not ready for the change in lifestyle that comes with parenthood.
If your husband is feeling this way, you can try to reassure him that you’ll be there every step of the way and that you’ll help out with the finances.
Also, try to let him know that you’re ready for a baby now and if he doesn’t feel like he’s ready yet then maybe it’s better if you wait until both of you are on the same page about starting a family together.
It might be hard but don’t pressure your husband into having kids if he’s not ready. It will only make him more resistant to the idea and you might end up pushing him further away.
Alternatively, you could push him into it and then resent your husband for not helping with the baby when they are born.
2. He might be worried about the financial responsibilities of having a child
Having a child is expensive. There are all the medical bills, and then there’s food, clothing, education…the list goes on forever! If your husband is worried about this sort of thing it may be wise to have a talk with him about how you two can work together as a team to make sure everything gets paid for.
You can also start saving money for your child’s future. This will show your husband that you’re serious about this whole thing and that you’re ready to take on the financial responsibilities of being a parent.
It’s important to remember that having a child is a huge responsibility, but it’s one that can be tackled if you work together.
3. He might not want to deal with the sleepless nights and constant crying
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Nobody wants to deal with a baby that won’t stop crying! If your husband is feeling this way, maybe you can offer to take turns dealing with the baby at night so that each of you gets some sleep.
You can also try to get your baby into a routine so that they’re not constantly crying for no reason. This will take some work but it will be worth it in the end when your husband sees that you’ve got things under control and that he doesn’t have to worry about anything.
It’s normal for husbands to feel this way.
4. He might be afraid that he won’t be a good father
Some men are afraid that they won’t be good at being a father. They’re worried about screwing up and making bad decisions for their children. If your husband is feeling this way, you can try to reassure him by telling him how much you love everything he does now as a partner and friend – surely those same qualities will translate well into being a great father too!
You can also take this time to start talking about what kind of dad he hopes to be in the future. This will help him feel more comfortable with his new role as a father when it does eventually come along because then he’ll have an idea of how things should go rather than just making it up as he goes along.
5. He might not want to change his current lifestyle too much
Your husband might be perfectly content with the way things are right now. He might not want to have a child and then have to deal with all the changes that come with it – changes to his lifestyle, his routine, etc. If your husband is feeling this way, you can try to ease him into the idea of having a child by starting off with a pet first and seeing how well he does with that.
When it’s time to have the talk about having a baby, here are some things you can do:
- Talk about why he doesn’t want kids right now (and try not to judge him or get angry)
- If you’re going through something difficult
6. He might be scared of how his relationship will change once a baby is added into the mix
Your husband might be worried that having a child will change your relationship. He’s afraid that you won’t love him as much anymore and he’ll feel like an outsider in his own home. If your husband is feeling this way, try talking to him about how having a baby can bring you both closer together instead of driving you apart (assuming that’s what he’s worried about).
- Talk about your feelings on having a child (again, try not to get angry)
- Let him know that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make things work for both of you
- Make a list of Pros and Cons together. This can help him see that there are
Conclusion paragraph: If you’re like most couples, you probably want to start a family at some point. But if your husband is dragging his feet on the whole idea, it could be because of any number of reasons we’ve discussed in this post.
So what do you do? Talk to him!
Communication is key in any relationship, and hashing out your feelings and fears about having children can only help strengthen your bond with each other. Plus, who knows? Once all the issues have been brought out into the open, he might just surprise you by being the one who wants to get pregnant first!